STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
