Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Randomize
