No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
