I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
