she woke up with a sticky ear
I just threw up on my dentist
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I supernannyed him into submission
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
