Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
