im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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