i'm signing you up for texting rehab
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.