Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.