at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
