hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
