There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
My liver just had a heart attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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