Heybabeimwearingurpanties
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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