she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
His nipple licking is glorious
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