I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize