I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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