She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
