if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
