we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
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theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
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The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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