just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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