tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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