Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
