my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Randomize
