I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
should my penis look like a turkey
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She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
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I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect