went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"