i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
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it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
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Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped