i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize