I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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