Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I just gift wrapped bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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