Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
