I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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