I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
