my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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