I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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