okay pat passed out under dana's car
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize