so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.