someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?