Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I chose taco bell over sex...
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.