Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick