I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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