If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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