It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
