remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize