if you like me you must not know who I am
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
