All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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