We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
