you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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