where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
