Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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