Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
