youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
