"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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