I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
