Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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