I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
