You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Randomize
