it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.