i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I need to calm my uterus...
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
