Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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