I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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