i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
