Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
